Running with Perseverance

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Hebrews 12: 1b-2

That's the first verse I learned in AWANA when my friend invited me to church in middle school.  It's the first of many memory verses, but one that continues to stick and God brings back to me at many different times in my life.  I believe I learned the King James Version that uses the word patience instead of perseverance, but as I've grown, I find the word perseverance helps the message stick better :).

Yesterday, I realized that my house is calmer.  The volume is definitely down :).  It's no less busy and there are still plenty of loud moments, but I'm finding that more of them are joyful.  Yes, there are still moments where my children aren't doing what's asked or bickering.  But they are less often and generally quieter.  And when it does come up, I am making a point to go to them and get down on my knee and talk to them face to face and it's working!  Now, I must remember this and not go back to those lazy habits of projecting my voice across a room or down the hall.

Volume

Some days, it feels like the volume of my house is permanently set on LOUD.  And it's not that we're screaming at each other or anything like that.  Conversations are just happening across rooms instead of next to each other.  Reminders and announcements (time to clean your room, almost time to go, use kind words...) are being called down the hall instead of being delivered face to face.  And when my son or daughter shouts at us from another room rather than coming to get one of us for help, it drives me crazy.  And then of course came the moment earlier this week when I realized just how often I do the opposite of what I repeatedly ask the kids to do.  I will never forget my frustration as a kid being told to "Do as I say, not as I do" by an adult.  And now I catch myself doing those same things that used to make me so frustrated in my home growing up.  Those generational things can really sneak up on you!

And I see the volume spreading from those things to how the kids react when they disagree or Bug trying to argue with me or his dad.  I know that my reactions are a huge part of either helping lessen the problem or making it worse and have been praying about how to have a quieter house.  Or to be more accurate, a home where the loudest noises are the joyful noises.

Then today I had one of those light bulb moments where something I've known before and heard in various ways just clicked.  God reminded me that when He really wants my attention, He calls me to be still and whispers into my heart what it was that I needed from Him in that moment.  Be it encouragement or gentle reminders, I hear the whispers.  And that's a way that I think I can make a big impact in the volume in this house.  When I need the kids to hear me, I need to wade into whatever the situation is and get down to their level (something I generally do eventually, but not as a first response) and speak quietly into the moment.  It can be inconvenient (especially at those moments when dinner is on the stove and there's a very smart hound lurking around waiting for me to walk away from the kitchen), but I know that it will be worth it in the long run.  My goal this week is to resist that urge to raise my voice to be heard in another room whenever possible and just go to who I need to talk to instead.  And I know it won't be an instant change and I'll have to be persistent to see results...but I have faith that with God's help, I can start to change this particular legacy this week.  Here's looking forward to joyful noises!

Pieces

I prayed hard for Bug's kindergarten teacher.  He's all boy -- rough and tumble, perpetual motion, and more.  And he's advanced academically.  As a teacher, I have seen this combination in various forms.  And while I enjoyed those students, I also knew the challenges of teaching them.  So I prayed for someone with understanding and wisdom.  And when I knew we'd be moving before his kindergarten year, I added prayers for a neighborhood with kids his age for him to play with.  I'd also hoped for a place centrally located for church, school, and work.  I was asking for a lot!  And while I know God can do it, I also recognize that the heart, I want my prayers to be about His will, not mine.

In the end, our house is a farther from work, school and church than we'd really like.  But, Bug is in a great school with a great teacher who values who he is and is working to challenge him where he's beyond his classmates and support him where he needs the extra.  And he has not one, but three buddies from his class that live within two blocks of the house.  Combine that with a preschool that's exactly what we wanted for Basil directly on the way from home to work (that we might have missed if we'd lived somewhere else).  It all came together so beautifully.  As I have been thinking of all these things in the last few days, I am reminded that I am so thankful for God's control instead of my own.

He is a reader!

Being a boy in school is tough.  Of course I don't know this from personal experience, but from many years of teaching and seeing first hand that our school system isn't designed for rough and tumble boys who need to be in motion large portions of his day.  The really great teachers engage that and use it for learning, but it can still be challenging.  We expected those challenges for him and haven't been surprised when it's come up.  I've sent up a lot of prayers for wisdom in how to guide him in how to meet school expectations without telling him that he can't be himself.  This week was a bit discouraging as I had multiple e-mails from his teacher about disruptive behaviors.  I so appreciate her and know she's works really hard to redirect and teach him in an encouraging way, but it's still hard, even when you expect it.  So, today was a perfect time to join in with M.O.B. Society's Let's Hear It for the Boys and brag on my boy!


 He is a reader!  My kinder is reading Magic School Bus and chapter books and telling me what they are about!  He's been reading for over a year and was one of those kids that just started asking questions and figuring it out on his own.  People ask me what I did and all I can say is I read to him and when he wanted to know what words were, I told him...he took it from there. He loves trying new books, loves going to the library and book store as much as I do, reads to his sister, reads to us, and wows us every day.  I am one proud Mama!

Listen and Learn

Oh, the power of prayer (and listening when God answers)! Getting either of my sweet children to do anything on a timeline other than their own is an event. So much so, that I've come to dread it which I know affects how I approach things (cleaning up, in particular) making it all harder. And so I've been praying - for wisdom in how to approach these challenges, for ways to build my children up and encourage them while helping them learn the necessity of cleaning up, getting ready in a timely way, doing things they don't want to do with a positive attitude. And this week, the Lord has really been helping me recognize ways to use Bug's strengths to make clean up a much smoother experience and to recognize where he specifically needs encouragement in the process. He is easily distracted (not entirely unlike his Mama) and so I thought earlier in the week that a checklist might help him for some of the routine things he needs to do within time constraints. I mentioned it to Dr. D a few days ago and then forgot about it (I need checklists of my own :)). Tonight, he remembered and created one with Bug for clean up time and it was a hit! He did everything on the list without complaining and without bogging down. It wasn't all done fully the first time so we needed to walk him through that, but it was most definitely a step in the right direction. And when I made a point to tell Bug what he'd done well in the process, he finished the items on the list without complaint and seemed encouraged as he did so. It was one of the most peaceful clean ups in this house in the last month!

Resolution Revision 1

And in true New Year's Resolutions, they've already started to slip.  My three times a week of writing has already turned into once every couple of weeks and seeking direction daily is more like an every few days kind of things.  But when I reflect on the heart of the resolutions, it's still there.  So, I've decided not to stress so much on the timelines and stick to what mattered most in both of them - writing more often and being more intentional about seeking God's direction.  And so I make it a point to pray for Bug and for Basil and how to best raise them to who God wants to be anytime the thought crosses my mind.  And already, I've recognized some things in my son that I don't know how I missed before that have made interactions that would normally be...challenging, play out much calmer and with him being encouraged and me as well.

As for the the writing...it's harder than I remembered.  But, I've come to the conclusion that I'm thinking about it too much.  So, next step in that goal - just get back to words on the page.  That was the advice of my seventh grade English teacher and it still sticks (and I've now passed it on to many a student staring at a blank piece of paper).  Tomorrow.  Or maybe next week...

Seeking the Map

New Years Day - that kick off of new goals.  My two biggest this year are to write at least three times a week (I really want daily, but if a goal isn't realistic, it's useless...) and to be seeking God's direction with the kids each day.  I've learned to lean in to Him a lot in the last couple of years and to cry out for help when I am at a loss.  As I've thought a lot about how I can best be an instrument in my children growing into God's plans for them, I've realized that I need to ask Him for guidance in that.  Who better to show me how to help them than the one who can see it all.  And it makes so much more sense to ask before I'm lost - rather than when I already feel off track.  My big challenge in that particular goal is going to be seeing progress.  It's important for me to see that what I'm doing is working in some small way.  I don't need dramatic changes, baby steps are fine, but I know that that even the baby steps in this goal won't be really tangible.  So, that's where the writing comes in.  I'm hoping that if I'm consistent about writing things down, I'll be able to see the baby steps and the progress.  Especially on the days where I feel lost again.  I've been praying a lot about this in the past week, though, and I know God is meeting me where I am so I'm excited to see where He'll take all of us.